Playing With Matches
by Miss Rhapsody
Summary: [2:12] Little girls are supposed to play with dolls not matches. The trouble happens when they play with eachother.
1. Promises Unbroken

Title: Playing With Matches  
  
Author: Rhapsody  
  
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
  
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Chapter 1 : Promises Unbroken  
  
Lavender POV  
  
It's funny really, how it all started. I remember sitting in my room. My mum had just painted it Lavender because I had decided that I suddenly hated to color pink. We sat on my bed whispering about naughty things.  
  
A week earlier I had walked into my parent's bedroom while they were in the middle of "loving each other". So my mum had pulled me aside and given me the sex talk at the ripe young age of eight.  
  
I felt obligated to tell you the juicy naughty things I had learned about. We sat together on the bed talking about what sex was and exactly what you have to do.  
  
"So you really put it in THERE!" you said alarmed.  
  
"I guess that's what mum told me, and mum would never lie to me!"  
  
"Ewe! That sounds icky!"  
  
"It sounds messy and gross!"  
  
"I know, who would want to do something like that!"  
  
"I wouldn't!"  
  
"Let's make a promise!" you declared triumphantly "to never do that with a boy ever, ever, ever!"  
  
"I promise!"  
  
We giggled about all the stuff we had just talked about and then went on playing like normal. We rode the flying pony my mother had bought me and we played with dolls like normal girls. But I never broke our promise, and I never will.  
  
We were 14 when I realized the full truth. I had always cared especially about you but I thought it was normal to feel that way about your best friend so it never crossed my mind that it was irrational. Then one day you came up to with news that crushed me.  
  
"Lavender! Oh my god! Did you see the way that Seamus was looking at me during potions? He has a crush on me! Isn't that great? He is so cute! I've fancied him for ages!"  
  
I just looked away and said something in agreement, I was too close to tears to pretend to be excited. And then I knew, you were more than my best friend, I loved you.  
  
I cried all night that night. In the middle of the night you woke up and approached me to try and find out why I was crying.  
  
"Lavender what's wrong?"  
  
"Go away!" I said through my tears, "You'd probably rather be talking to Seamus!"  
  
"What! Oh you got the wrong impression! I'm not leaving you, we can still be best friends."  
  
"I don't care about that!"  
  
"You mean you fancy him too! I'm sorry, I won't go out with him!"  
  
"I don't fancy him you dolt! I fancy you!" I practically yelled. I slapped my hand over my mouth and I hoped you hadn't heard, what I had said was forbidden. I was afraid I'd lose you my friend and my love for so long. But when the look in your eyes changed to understanding a joy, before that moment foreign to me, flooded through.  
  
"Oh god!" you said smiling, "I thought you'd only ever say that in my dreams."  
  
And you bent your head close to mine and brushed away my tears gently with the back of your hand. I looked into your eyes and saw a love that was hidden away before then shine through. And I kissed you.  
  
Now I sit here on my bed in my Lavender room. The sun shines in and illuminates your beautiful hair and you lie with your head resting in my lap. And I know that I will never, ever have the need to break my promise, as long as I have you. 


	2. Learning To Love

Title: Playing With Matches  
  
Author: Rhapsody  
  
Summary: "I've always been a person who seeks a challenge. I always want what I can't get. It seems that now that I have Lavender as my own, the love is fading." Lavender/Parvati.  
  
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter 2: Learning to Love  
  
Parvati POV  
  
She loves me with all her heart. She gives me all her soul. And it saddens me to think that I cannot return the beautiful gift she has given me.  
  
It's not that I never loved her. I did at one time. My heart yearned for her. All I wanted was to be with her. But all the while I was afraid that she would reject me so I never breathed a word. I even dated other people so she wouldn't find out.  
  
She eventually told me she loved me and for the next few weeks I returned her gift, but gradually the love seemed to fade away. I was still attracted to her, but the feeling wasn't there.  
  
I've always been a person who seeks a challenge. I always want what I can't get. And I thought I couldn't get Lavender. She is so perfect and I am so flawed, but nonetheless she loves me. It seems that now that I have Lavender as my own, the love is fading.  
  
I want so badly to love her. I want to be the perfect companion. I want the old feelings, the old sparks between us to return. I'm so afraid. I'm afraid that they have left my body. I'm afraid that I have lost the ability to not only love Lavender, but love anybody.  
  
Maybe it is that she is too good for me. Maybe all the love we shared was so strong that it was a shock to my system and whipped out all ability to love or accept love in the future.  
  
There is not a day that I don't sit and wish that I could love her like she loves me. She has given so much up all for me and what do I give her in return? A fake love, fabricated in my mind, to compensate for the real love that I lack. I'm broken and undeserving of anyone's love. I have done such horrible things. It is hard for me to fathom anyone loving me the way she does.  
  
And still, I'm terrified of hurting her. Lavender has gone through so much, she deserves the best. The best has laid itself upon a silver platter in front of her and she rejected it, for me. She is so devoted to me, to the love we used to share, and in her mind still share. She is like a fragile flower, irreplaceable and delicate.  
  
I want so badly to love my fragile flower. To caress her with all the tenderness and love that I once held in my heart. I want only to make her happy. I want to insure that she will never get hurt, by anyone, especially by me.  
  
It's so confusing, I don't understand why I'm having these feelings. I want so badly to love her but something is holding me back. There is this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see her pretty face. I know she deserves better, but if I leave her it will destroy her.  
  
I know that if I don't begin to love her again she will get hurt. I can almost picture my delicate little flower being crushed by cruel life.  
  
I have never broken the promise we made so long ago. A ring is positioned my finger affirming that I haven't broken it. I have never had the desire to break our sacred oath, but I suspect that if I were ever to leave Lavender that would be her first notion.  
  
It hurts me to think that she would ever suspect me of something so heinous, but what right do I have to talk of betrayal and hurt. I know in the end it will be me who hurts most, because to live my life knowing I hurt her would be unbearable.  
  
I want to scream out and end the pain and confusion by simply telling her that I do not, can not love her the way she loves me. But to step on my delicate flower would be a crime punishable by death.  
  
I want to love her so badly it hurts. I will love her some day. I have always wanted what I can't have and I can't love, therefore my want for it is great. It is my goal in life to love Lavender and show her that I love her.  
  
I know that if I continue to yearn what I want most will come to me, just how Lavender came to me when I wanted her most. I will learn to share with her the gifts she has shared with me for so very long.  
  
But for now I lie upon her bed, half covered in blankets. I drift in and out of sleep as Lavender strokes my hair. She is showing her love for me. A love I will soon be able to return to her. 


End file.
